Age: 11-12 years

Duration: 80 min

Objectives

• Cut redundancy and wordiness from academic sentences.
• Improve transitions to smooth the flow between ideas.
• Revise a short argumentative draft for concision.

Vocab

• concise: "Concise writing says more with fewer words."
• redundant: "'Free gift' is redundant — a gift is already free."
• trim: "Trim empty phrases like 'due to the fact that.'"
• flow: "Transitions help ideas flow smoothly."

Warm-up (5min)

Board a bloated sentence: "Due to the fact that it was raining, we made the decision to stay." Trim it together to "Because it rained, we stayed." Count the words saved.

Main Activity (65min): "Syntax: Conciseness and Flow"

"Word-Diet Workshop" — Round 1: wordiness list (7 min) — swap 8 common padded phrases for lean ones ("in order to" → "to"). Round 2: redundancy hunt — cross out repeated ideas in 6 sentences. Round 3: transition upgrade — insert or improve linking words so three choppy sentences flow. Round 4: paragraph revision — take a 10-sentence wordy paragraph and cut it to 7 without losing meaning; track the word count. Round 5: apply — students revise one paragraph of their own draft, aiming to cut 20% of words. Share a before/after count.

Wrap-up (10min)

Leaderboard: who cut the most words while keeping meaning? Exit ticket: rewrite one padded sentence in half the words.

Teacher Tips

• Make word-cutting a game with counts — students love the measurable win.
• Warn that concise ≠ choppy; flow via transitions matters just as much.
• Directly supports KET writing word limits and the essay workshop revision.